Inspiration is everywhere.
Remember that TikTok trend a few years ago where people dressed in four completely different styles while lip-syncing, “Sometimes I wanna be her, but sometimes… I also wanna be her”?

If you don’t, bless you—you might already be free.
If you do (or are guilty of the following) welcome to the club: trying to find our signature style while being served 84,000 curated aesthetics before breakfast.

The Influence Industrial Complex

Instagram. TikTok. Pinterest. Substack. Podcasts.
It’s not just content anymore—it’s a catalog.
Everything’s a recommendation, a link, a “get ready with me” that ends with you adding to cart.

I’m not judging. I’ve been there. I’ve bought the thing, because she looked so good in it. But when it arrived? It didn’t look good on me, didn’t match anything else in my closet, and made me question why I ever liked it in the first place.

What I realized is that I wasn’t shopping from clarity—I was shopping from infatuation.

The Three Levels of Influence

Let’s break it down. Not everything we like needs to be something we buy. There are three types of reactions to inspiration:

1. Appreciated

“I love this for her.”
This is admiration from a distance. You like the vibe, the styling, the energy—but you know it’s not for you. And that’s okay. You can appreciate it without needing to own it.

2. Infatuated

“I need this right now.”
This is the impulse. The flash-in-the-pan obsession. It’s exciting in the moment, but short-lived. This usually ends with a return label (that may never get used), a disjointed closet, or a pile of “what was I thinking?”

3. Aligned

“This fits me. My actual life. My future vision.”
This is the sweet spot. It’s when something not only excites you but makes sense in the context of who you are and who you want to be. It matches your wardrobe, your space, your lifestyle. It’s thoughtful and intentional—and you know it’ll last.

A Quiz for Your Inner Carrie Bradshaw

Let’s bring back the 2000s magazine quiz energy—but make it relevant to your inner monologue while shopping.

Ask yourself:

• Does this image/product spark joy?
  If yes: is it appreciated, infatuated, or aligned?

• Can I picture this on me or in my home—not just on her feed?
  Yes? You're getting closer to aligned. No? It's probably just infatuation.

• Can I use this across multiple occasions or rooms?
  Yes = aligned. No = infatuation.

• Will I still want this a year from now?
  If not? You know what to do.

• Does this item support the vision I have for my life, style, or space?
  If it doesn’t serve future-you, it’s not aligned—you’re just influenced.

Pinterest, but Make It Practical

Pinterest used to feel like a black hole of tasteless photos or unachievable aesthetic perfection. Now, with a little time setting up my algorithm, it’s one of my favorite tools for staying aligned.

Start pinning with a purpose. Create a board that actually reflects what you want your life to look like—your real taste, not the trend of the moment. Pin intentionally. Use it as a visual guide.

Pro tip: Pull up your Pinterest board when you’re getting dressed or before you buy something. If the item fits into the overall theme you’ve curated, it’s probably aligned. If it feels like it’s crashing the party? Leave it in your cart.

TL;DR: Be Inspired, But Not Swept Away

We don’t need to unfollow everyone or delete every app. But we do need to pause.

Every time you’re about to hit Apple Pay like Apple’s gonna pay—it’s worth asking: is this Appreciated, Infatuated, or Aligned?

Inspiration is a gift. But it’s only powerful when it leads us back to ourselves.

Because sometimes, I wanna be her.
But more and more—I just wanna be me.